Dayana Ridicula
by Cazzie
Summary: Dayana Ridicula is not Latin for ridiculous day. But it sounds good. This fic is about a ridiculous day, funnily enough.


Dayana Ridicula  
  
Author's notes:  
  
This is my first Dark Angel fan fic, so please be nice.  
  
Thanks to Sydney, who persuaded me to post this. (So if you hate it, blame her!)  
  
Please review. Any compliments and constructive criticism are very welcome.  
  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Dark Angel. Don't sue me.  
  
  
  
One fine day Max was riding her motorcycle. The clouds overhead looked especially fluffy that morning and she couldn't stop staring at them. Max liked fluffy things, especially cotton wool. Pink cotton wool was her favourite. As she was pondering clouds and cotton wool a thought suddenly struck her, maybe she'd like Logan better if he had a beard.  
  
Max suddenly turned around, causing two cars to crash into each other and burst into flames then explode, showing burning debris over a large part of Seattle.  
  
The journey to Logan's took her longer than usual due to her sudden desire for a Bubble-Gum slushy. She searched high and low for one but then remembered that they didn't exist. After crying for about half an hour she reached Logan's building, and decided it would look better pink. Making a mental note to return with a truckload of paint, she entered and took the lift (or elevator if you're American, which they are so I guess I'll have to go with that.) She took the elevator to Logan's penthouse and knocked.  
  
Bling opened the door. "Hey Max. Forget how to pick a lock?"  
  
"Nope, I just wanted to make you get up."  
  
She entered and went straight to the kitchen. Logan's fridge was stocked full of rubbish, but she was quite hungry so she decided it would have to do. After finishing a chocolate wrapper and half a cardboard box she remembered why she had come.  
  
Logan was at his computer as usual. She walked up behind him, "hey."  
  
"Shh Max, not now this is important," Logan was staring intently at the screen and spoke in an annoyed whisper. A couple of minutes later he diverted his attention to her, "you happy now? You ruined my concentration and I clicked on a mine."  
  
From somewhere behind her Bling's voice reached her ears, "So you couldn't beat my high score then? Yes!! Bling is the Minesweeper king!"  
  
A very happy Bling ran across to the computer and opened up the high scores box, he pulled Max over to it and pointed excitedly, "See, there's my name. Bling! I am the best! I RULE!"  
  
And with that he ran out, to tell as many strangers as he could.  
  
Logan was now sulking, so Max decided to cheer him up.  
  
"Hey, you know what. If you grew a beard, and by that I mean a real beard not just a bit of scruff, then I might like you a whole lot more."  
  
"Er, why?" He looked at her confused  
  
"Cos then you'd be fluffy."  
  
She turned and ran out the room giggling, with Logan staring at her bum. (Well, he's in a wheelchair; his eyes are on that level. It's not his fault. He doesn't do it deliberately. Or at least that's how he justified it to himself.)  
  
Max decided to go back into the kitchen and dance on the table. After she had finished the Macerena she jumped down. Logan had been staring at her from the doorway and now she ran towards him.  
  
"What? No beard?"  
  
"Max, it's been five minutes!"  
  
"Come dance with me."  
  
"Ok." He stood up and jumped on the table. They danced to many pop songs before Logan remembered he couldn't walk and promptly fell down. Max ignored him and continued dancing to a Britney Spears song that she was singing at the top of her voice.  
  
At that moment Bling returned and went over to help Logan. But as he was leaning down he stopped.  
  
"Logan, say it."  
  
"What? Bling, help me!"  
  
"Say it."  
  
"No."  
  
"Fine, then I won't help you." He started to walk away, but stopped when Logan's voice called out.  
  
"All right. Bling is the Minesweeper King."  
  
"Thank you." Bling helped Logan back into his wheelchair. Max was still dancing. Toads fell from the sky, which was actually the ceiling due to it being indoors and everything.  
  
"Now what?" Logan asked wearily. This was turning into one strange day.  
  
"Now we boogie!" Max called, stopping her Britney impression in mid-word and switching to 'Night Fever'.  
  
The toads all jumped up on the table and lined up behind her. Max led them in the Night Fever dance. When it was over they all took a bow and hopped off.  
  
Max remained on the table and began counting.  
  
"One."  
  
"Max, what are you doing now?" Logan rolled closer to her.  
  
"Two"  
  
"Please tell me"  
  
"Three"  
  
"Please, just stop that, and tell me what's going on."  
  
"Four"  
  
"Max. Stop it"  
  
"Five."  
  
"Max!"  
  
"Six."  
  
"Max, this is not funny. Stop that right now!"  
  
"Seven."  
  
"I mean it!! Stop!!!"  
  
"Eight."  
  
"MAX! STOP COUNTING!!" He jumped up and pushed his wheelchair over  
  
"Okay, who had eight?" Max called to a newly assembled crowd, all of whom were holding betting stubs.  
  
"I did!" Original Cindy pushed her way to the front  
  
"Well done!" Max cried, "You win a blender!" She grabbed Logan's blender from the counter and handed it to her friend.  
  
The crowd disappeared, leaving Max alone with Logan. Bling was also there, but he was busy making a 'Minesweeper King' trophy out of tin foil.  
  
Logan picked his wheelchair up and sat in it, he knew he technically couldn't walk but he really couldn't be bothered with that minor problem at the moment.  
  
"Max? What is going on?"  
  
Max jumped down in front of him and tilted her head sideways "I've just realised, you're normal. Why are you normal?"  
  
"Um, I was born that way?"  
  
"But it's boring. You're boring. Can't you do anything weird?"  
  
"I, I, I was playing Minesweeper!" He responded indignantly. "And I danced on the table."  
  
"Not good enough. I want more."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Pink, fluffy hair."  
  
"No. Anything else?"  
  
Max thought for a minute, hopping from floor, to counter, to table, to floor as she did so. "The jewel-encrusted tiara once belonging to Princess Alissandra. It's hidden in a booby-trapped cavern somewhere in Europe."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Max stopped on the table and tilted her head 180 degrees. "Fishcakes"  
  
Logan blinked, "what?"  
  
"Fishcakes." Max repeated, "but vegetarian fishcakes."  
  
"I am so confused."  
  
"And that is why you're not good enough at being weird. You try to understand. Rookie mistake."  
  
"Oh, ok." He looked like he finally understood, "I think I've got the hang of this now"  
  
"Good. So, how's the weather?"  
  
"Well, it looks like rain." He caught her look, "I mean, um, it looks like fishcakes."  
  
"All right, for a beginner. But you need to be original, and try not to sound like a scared schoolchild performing his first play."  
  
Logan straightened up in his chair and cleared his throat.  
  
"Ahem, I would like to announce that I am very fond of cheese."  
  
Max sat on the table staring at him, "riiight."  
  
Fortunately for Logan he was saved by Bling, who danced in wearing a pink summer dress and announced that he was in fact the Tooth Fairy.  
  
Logan looked at him, "what happened to being Minesweeper King?"  
  
"Well, I cut my little finger on the tin foil, so I don't wanna be the Minesweeper King anymore" Bling pouted and held up his hand, to reveal a teddy bear plaster (or band-aid for the Americans) on his finger.  
  
Max was smiling broadly, "see Logan. You can learn from Bling."  
  
She stood up and put her arm around the large man in the pink dress. Logan instantly felt a twinge of jealously.  
  
"Hey. I can be just as weird as Bling."  
  
"You said you like cheese." Max reminded him.  
  
"I can do better. Anyway, this isn't fair. You and Bling do weird things by moving around. I can't. At least not now I've remembered I can't walk."  
  
Max removed her arm from Bling and walked over to Logan, "just forget you can't walk. It's easy, as long as you don't think about it. So you can't try to do it, you just have to do it."  
  
Logan went cross-eyed and felt his head begin to pulsate, as though it was on the brink of exploding.  
  
Bling went back to dancing around the room, but had decided he didn't want to be the Tooth Fairy any more; he was now a ballerina.  
  
"I am a fish!" Logan suddenly cried, standing up. "I am a fish!" He repeated, as he grabbed Max's hand and jumped up on the table, pulling her up as well.  
  
"Yes! Oh Logan, this is good work!" Max laughed, as he spun her round. "You're doing well."  
  
Bling decided he would rather be Superman and dived into the air. He fell straight down onto the floor and decided he would rather be a rug.  
  
Max suddenly noticed that Logan had grown a beard. It was pink and fluffy. She liked it. It was mesmerising, she was captivated by it's fluffiness. "Ohh, fluffy." She said reaching out to touch it, "fluffy. Pink. Fluffy."  
  
At that moment Kendra appeared in the doorway. "Ha! I have you now Max! You cannot escape!"  
  
"Fluffy."  
  
"I am here to kill you! You see, I was only pretending to be your friend. I am really a secret agent working for Project Lollipop. I will now take you into custody, and we will move you to a secret base and force you to eat lollipops constantly! Bwahahahah!"  
  
"Fluffy."  
  
"Never fear!" Bling's voice suddenly rang out, "Santa Claus will save you!" He dived at Kendra and whacked her over the head with a mouldy banana.  
  
Kendra ran from the penthouse and Bling celebrated his victory by sticking his head into a freshly made trifle that just happened to be lying around.  
  
Meanwhile Max had come out of her fluffy beard induced trance, and was about to go into another one, based on the pinkness of the hair, but Logan stopped her by pushing her off the table.  
  
"Ow, I hit the floor." She looked up at him, then realised what he was about to do.  
  
Logan jumped off the table and landed on Max, she didn't mind. He stood up, bent down to pick her up then they headed off to the bedroom.  
  
Logan looked at Max "Isn't it good, how even in a ridiculous story like this, we still get romance?"  
  
She smiled and they disappeared behind the door, which swung shut behind them.  
  
Bling was now all-alone in the kitchen. He was quite scared, he didn't like being alone and it would be getting dark soon.  
  
Suddenly a blue pixie appeared on the table.  
  
"Don't worry Bling. I'm here. I'll be your friend."  
  
"Will you? Honest? Gee, I could really use a friend right now. My other friends have left me all by myself." He started to cry.  
  
"Don't cry Bling. We'll be really good friends. I know a place where we can burn things!"  
  
Bling stopped crying and a broad smile broke out over his face, "oh golly. You're the bestest friend I ever had."  
  
He took the pixie by the hand and they walked out of the penthouse, off to burn things. Lots of things! (Cue manic laughter)  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
Please Review 


End file.
